yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
