They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize