NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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