well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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