They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
