walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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