I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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