just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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