Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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