She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
