So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
