Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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