Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
