If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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