I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
