Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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