I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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