haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
