she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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