i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
