He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
