I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
