I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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