I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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