We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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