if i can run in heels then i can drive
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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