So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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