I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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