Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
