I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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