The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
