This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
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You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I party with great urgency now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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