Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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