We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
