It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
