Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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