i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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