is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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