there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
