are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
