Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize