My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
