So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
