I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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