Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
