She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
