you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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