3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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