well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
