tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
