The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
