So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
