hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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