Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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