I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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