Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
