It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize