Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She said her name was "party"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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