Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
