I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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