You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
