so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize